We all have self-doubts. We all do. I have a list of shoulda, coulda, wouldas, and I suffer from good old fashioned Catholic guilt (even when someone else is wrong, I’ve been guilty of taking the fall), which if I allow it, will send me down the rabbit hole of feeling disempowered and defeated. It’s called life. It happens to the best of us. The key is to not let it take over the story we keep telling ourselves. When I have those bad days I always remind myself that it will get better. This moment does not define me. It’s not always easy to do when the ego wants their way.
Simple ways to feel more empowered
We hear/read the word empowerment thrown around everywhere these days but what does it mean to really feel empowered. Well, it’s a mindset, a practice.
If you stumbled upon this post because you’re looking for ways to feel more empowered, here are a few things I suggest:
Be your boss
Invest time in you and the ways you can be better in your career, relationships and health goals. I always check in. Why? Because like everyone else, I have my fails. Life is a series of ups, downs, triumphs, fails and choices. And just like a business or work day with meetings, emails and long to-do lists, you need to make sure that everything with you is running smoothly.
Related: Tips to feel more confident
My mother and my son both have different definitions for success than I do. Our perspectives are influenced by a variety of things – generational, cultural and even demographics. In today’s world there is no cookie cutter definition for success. Do not compare yourself to others. Do what brings joy and fulfillment. That is success. I have a career that didn’t exist a few years ago. It all started the day I opened up this blog. Imagine if I had listened to nay-sayers?
Watch what you say
You have a lot more power about the outcome of things than you think. If you tell yourself negative things and see negativity in others, your outcome and result will be, well, negative. Saying things like, I can’t, it won’t work, they won’t pick me, I’m not good enough…will give you those results. Start using words like will, can and it’s possible, and next time you catch yourself criticizing someone else, check in with yourself and shift your mindset. Your perception of others is a reflection of yourself.
No more shoulda, coulda, woulda
Like I said in the beginning of this post, I’m guilty of doing this from time to time – and it’s a waste of time. Accept what is today and at this moment. What you should have done is gone. What you could have done is gone. What you would do is pointless. Do the things you want to do and can do. That’s it.
Related: Check in with yourself
Nurture your creativity
Schedule in time to pursue creative passions – write, paint, take photos, knit, decorate. A close friend of mine is going through a divorce. When she starts to feel down, she decorates her house. It brings her a sense of comfort to take control of her surroundings. Sometimes she will even paint a room a whole new color on a whim. I haven’t been able to do much of my art work these days. Instead I’ve been enjoying playing with different makeup looks, styling my clothes and really taking ownership of this new time of my life. At my age, I know what I like, which makes it so much more fun to get dressed up. Bed to Brunch sent me this robe that could be worn indoors and outdoors (so perfect for me) and this Tobi jumpsuit is now officially an addition to my collection.