In the last year or so, I’ve gained a bit of weight. My TMJ disorder forced my body into a ton of changes since it first erupted two years ago. Initially, I dropped 35 pounds right away. I wasn’t able to eat and had zero appetite. I got too thin. When I started the current treatment I’m on, I got my appetite back and ate all the food. All the food. I did not care. I just wanted to be happy. I not only gained all my weight back, I gained another 30 pounds on top of that (if it doesn’t show, it’s all in the pose). Why an additional 30? Well, I was not able to workout or even go for walks because one of my symptoms was vertigo. I had to be very careful about doing anything that would make it worse. Saying that this disorder is a nightmare is understatement. I was going to eat my pizza, and no one was going to stop me.
TMJ, weight and the perfect chambray jumpsuit
My naturopath did labs on me, and the results showed that my body was not doing well on this “new” diet. Turned out I was gluten intolerant, which was causing all kinds of terrible inflammation. My body was not absorbing nutrients but it had no problem storing fat and the bad stuff. I had to get off gluten right away, and change my eating habits – the ones that brought me comfort and joy. The ones that gave me a sense of normalcy during a time when nothing seemed right. Room spinning? Nope. Not normal. That brownie? Normal.
I never had this kind of relationship with food until I was not well. And I can totally see how it can spiral out of control. But my vertigo is gone as well as many of symptoms, so it’s time for me to break up with the foods that are not good for me. I’ve been doing it slowly with the help of wellness coach, Morena Escardo. I also reopened my gym membership, and have been back at it this last week. It felt so great to be back. But I’ll be honest, making the jump and committing to watching everything I eat and making sure I do cardio everyday is not always easy. Not only is it a change in lifestyle, but my ultimate goal is all about rebuilding my health, strength and body from trauma, which can take it’s toll physically and emotionally.
Related: My TMJD story
In the meantime, I’ve also had to learn how to dress my changing body. Many of my clothes don’t fit anymore and I don’t want to break the bank buying new things if I’m in the process of exercising and eating healthier, which will likely result in weight loss. Thank God for the wide leg ankle length trend this summer. I got this jumpsuit from Madewell, and I feel great in it. Whether I lose or gain weight, finding silhouettes that flatter my figure is key.
I share much of my journey on Snapchat. If you’d like to follow along, you can find me as theArtMuse.
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